First Chapter
by TerryJ
Summary: While helping Jack O'Neill move SG-1 finds something which unravels some of his hidden past. *sorry about this mistaken extra chapter upload! fixed now!*
1. Teaser

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, reviews of all kinds are appreciated. Hope you enjoy.

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><p>"I thought the Air Force would have hired people to help you, Jack" grunted Daniel as he brought another box to Jack's empty dining room.<p>

"They do" came the strained voice of newly promoted Major General Jack O'Neill "They're coming to take the boxes tomorrow. I just didn't want strangers doing the actually packing of all my stuff."

Daniel groused, "Fair enough, though it would be nice if your personal stuff wasn't so heavy!"

Jack dropped his own box with a thud. "I guess so. I didn't realize how much stuff I have." Jack looked around and ran a hand through his hair, "Where's Carter?"

"Colonel Carter is in the attic" Added Teal'c as he entered the room carrying another two boxes.

Jack took a moment, looking up and down at the weight Teal'c was carrying before murmering "Show Off." Teal'c lowered his burden and raised his eyebrow. O'Neill cleared his throat and clapped his hands together, "Alright kids, let's go bring Carter a beer!"

A few moments later the men all were climbing up the attic ladder, bottles precariously balanced when O'Neill suddenly stopped at the top of the ladder.

"Hey Jack! Keep going!" Called up Daniel and Jack had to take a moment to remind himself to move forward.

At the sound of Daniel's voice Sam had turned around from where she was sitting and caught sight of her former commanding officer momentarily frozen in place atop of the ladder. She locked eyes with him as he regained his senses and began to continue his way into the room. Jack tried to maintain eye contact with her but his gaze kept being drawn to the box by her feet and the note in her hand.

The box wasn't so much of a big deal, it was where he put any memorabilia from his time with the stargate program, some commendations and medals, the documentary video from a few years ago, some notes from General Hammond, his old SG-1 patch and a few other things that Jack wanted to keep. Sam was certainly more the cleared to see anything in there but there was just one thing he didn't want her to see and that one thing was sitting in her hand.

He knew she wouldn't have gone through his letters if she hadn't recognized the hand writing on the front, and she certainly would have recognized that handwriting; Jacob had a very familiar scrawl.


	2. The Letter

Daniel and Teal'c followed Jack into the room and stood silently observing the quiet stand-off.

Deciding to play it cool Jack put on a grin, "Hey there Carter, we've come to relieve you!" Jack gestured with the beer bottles in his hands.

Sam wasn't playing along, "You knew my Dad" she stated quietly but firmly, piercing him with her eyes, refusing him any opportunity for denial.

"Of course Colonel Carter, we all knew JacobCarter very well." Commented Teal'c when Jack said nothing.

"Yes," said Sam, "but he knew him longer, a lot longer in fact. Didn't you sir?"

Jack sighed, "Can't we all just enjoy a nice cool beverage and complain about how heavy all these boxes are?"

Daniel looked quickly back and forth from Jack to Sam, "No, I don't think so. What do you mean Sam?"

Jack sighed and gave a small gesture with his hand, "Go ahead, give it to him, he won't stop until he knows now." Sam glanced down at the letter in her hand and back up at Jack with a small nod and handed the letter off to Daniel. The General handed her one of the beers and gingerly lowered himself to the floor near Sam while Daniel read the letter for him and Teal'c.

_"**COLONEL**O'Neill,_

_I guess I should say something along the lines of congratulations or that I'm proud you made it this far. Although I can't say it's entirely unexpected, you showed everyone what kind of man you are with the whole Jenks incident ...even if you were only a boy at the time. However what I do find hard to believe is that a man who barely got his GED would be heavily immersed in deep space radar telemetry. That's fine, I spoke with Bryant a few years back and he said you had turned into a career man and he suspected you were in Spec Ops. Again, not entirely a surprise._

_What IS a surprise and bothersome is that my daughter is working with you. Her, I could believe in deep space radar what-ever. But if you're her CO and if all that is a cover story for you, then it must be for her too. I know what kind of people the Air Force recruits for all that cloak and dagger stuff and although it may suite you I never expected it or wanted it for my Sam._

_Do you KNOW that she is a genius? In what ever role you have her in do you know and appreciate her potential for so much? I'm sure at any given moment taking out a henchman of a dictator or releasing men from enemy prison seems like an ultimate in importance but Sam could be changing the world with her mind. Did you know she joined the air force because she wants to be an astronaut? She can do it too. I just got word there is an opening and all she needs to do is put her name in the hat and she could go to outer space; her dream._

_She just told me she doesn't want to go, that her work is important. I can't imagine what is more important than her reaching her dreams and exploring her potential. I had heard wind that you're a father too now, then you understand when I say I want what is best for my child and I am concerned she is making choices with blinders on. As her CO I'm hoping you won't hold her back from making her own, correct choices, you were a good kid when I knew you, I just hope that a lifetime of black ops hasn't changed you._

_And if she does choose to stay with whatever project you are all working on, keep an eye on her. If something happens to her I will find you and it won't be pretty._

_Good to see you again, good to see things turned out alright for you,_

_Gen. J. Carter"_

The room was silent when Daniel finished the letter. Jack was drinking his beer and picking at some unseen thread in his jeans.

"He gave that to you when we went to Washington for the airman's medal?" commented Sam.

Jack nodded his head without looking up. "Yup, at the base while we were waiting for the plane back."

Daniel and Teal'c sat down too and leaned back against some of the boxes across from Jack and Sam.

"Why didn't either of you mention that you knew each other? It's pretty clear that he knew you before you were doing classified missions." Commented Daniel.

Jack sighed, "We didn't REALLY know each other, were just on the same base in Vietnam."

"Were not the Vietnam American Military Actions before you were of adequate age for the US Military?" questioned Teal'c.

"Nah" answered Jack, "I mean I just made it but there was still stuff going on when by the time I joined up."

"Actually I have always wondered because I've seen your combat service ribbon but it never made too much sense to me," commented Daniel, "Even if you were drafted on your birthday you would have finished out school first and by the time you were 18 and finished basic they were pulling out and weren't shipping anyone new over. You would have been on a stateside or maybe guam…"

"I wasn't drafted" said Jack. When no one said anything he sighed, ran both hands through his hair and added, "I actually lied to get in when I was 15. Tried every branch and the Air Force was the only one to look the other way and let me in."

Sam and Daniel looked shocked while Teal'c was pensive. "Although I admire your pursuit to claim your identity as a warrior O'Neill did not your parents express desire for you to stay at home?"

Jack sighed again. "You really want me to get in to all of this?"

Sam finally spoke up, "You don't have to. I know that it may not be comfortable to talk about. But if you could share a little…we're all so close and have been for so long but we don't know anything about you before the Air Force…" her voice started to quiver, "and now you're leaving and it's like we didn't ever get to really know you and obviously my dad knew you a little more than the average person on the base…and it can't be too bad, as he still liked you even though he knew the whole story. I don't want to make you talk, I know you're not much for words or stories about yourself but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to know more about you."

Jack couldn't look away from her. When her voice grew softer and began to waver he knew resistance was futile. And she was right, they all knew about Daniel's past and hers, they even knew more about Teal'c than himself. He had been purposefully vague and quiet about himself but perhaps he did owe it to his team, this family of theirs the whole story.

"Okay. But no interruptions Danny. Hopefully this is what you want to know…"


	3. Finding The Air Force

"I don't actually know much more than I was born in a suburb of Chicago and sometime when I was a toddler I was remanded to the custody of the state. I'm not sure if it was my parent's choice or not but the end result was the same; I never knew my parents or any family. I bounced around from one foster home after another. Some of them were nice but mostly they were overburdened people who didn't know what to do with a bunch of mutt kids. Especially when I got older and was no longer a cute little kid, things got harder.

The place I went to when I was 12 was pretty rough. There were 4 of us, 2 girls, myself and a 9 year old boy named Howie. The parents were alright but they had really only wanted to foster girls and were resentful of the system for giving them boys as well. Gary, the dad, didn't trust us boys, always thought we were going to do something lewd to the girls and that we were just going to cause trouble. Howie was new in the system and Gary frightened the bejeezus out of him so I promised I'd look out for him. After a few months I even told him he was my little brother. He acted like it too, followed me everywhere and I really adored the kid; he was the first and closest thing I had to family up to that point.

We were there for a bit over a year when Howie's parents came and took him back home. We promised to keep in touch but his parents had worked through their rough spot and didn't think any reminder of that time would be healthy for Howie and before long they cut off our communication to each other. That was the last straw for me.

I was 14 years old when I ran away from foster care. I don't even know if they looked for me, all I know is they never found me. It was such a turbulent time in the 60's and there were always protests and sit-ins and hippies around so it wasn't often difficult to find shelter or food. Despite my good luck it did catch up with me after a few months. During a span of time when I could find no one to hang with I stole a pack of bologna from the store. I got caught and the judge sentenced me to a month in jouvie.

In all honesty it was the best month I'd had in a long time. There was warm food and clean beds. As long as you didn't cause trouble the guards were nice and actually encouraging, always telling you that you could be better than you were and that no matter how low you think things are that we had potential and could be better people if we just worked at it. It was the first time anyone had told me that I had control over how my life turned out.

I ended up becoming friendly with the warden who supervised the physical education part of the day. Toward the end of my stay I told him about the irrational desire I had to stay, how nice everything was in there as opposed to everything I had previously known. He's the one who first mentioned the military to me. He had been in the Navy and talked about how not only does the military take care of your provisions and motivate you to better yourself, but it also gives you a sense of belonging, a surrogate family. He told me to hang on and once I turned 18, all of that could be my future.

I was impatient and became obsessed with joining the military after I left jouvie. I began working out, I cut my hair and tried to dress and talk "older". I even started smoking because I thought it would make me seem older. When I was 15 I figured it was close enough and I went down to the Marines. I thought I was tough and I figured I'd fit in. The recruiter didn't even spend 5 minutes; he saw right through me and sent me on my way. I knew I didn't want to join the Navy if I could help it, was not a fan of swimming and I had heard the Air Force was only for smart people and I hadn't even finished 9th grade so I assumed that was out of the question, however when I went to the Army station he also saw right through me. But he was different; instead of dismissing me he spent some time talking with me.

He wanted to know why I was eager to join up when others were skipping the country to avoid Vietnam. He said he understood my reasons and actually suggested I go to the Air Force. Turns out the local recruiter was running low against his quota and would probably be open to turning a blind eye to my age. He also said that the Air Force needed regular folks to be trained as mechanics and grounds crew so I could enlist without a degree. He also outlined that being on an Air Force strip was probably one of the safest places I could be and even though I thought I was ready for war he thought it would be best if I played it smart.

I took a letter from the army recruiter and jogged 2 blocks to the Air Force recruiting office and the guy there had me signed up in less than two hours. From there my experience was like most, physical and then off to basic.

I think many folks realized I was too young to be there and a few tried to make an issue of it but mostly they didn't give me a hard time about it. The way they saw it, I was saving one more poor draftee from having to go over. I guess BT during the late stages of Vietnam was a little different. We were short training gear and the rifle I learned to shoot from was actually from World War 2 and my pack was from Korea. All the drill sergeants had all seen war recently and worked us with a sense of urgency. Some of them resented the war, some of them resented the Air Force and some of them resented being state side. Regardless the reason, they all had a chip on their shoulder and frequently got into fights among themselves. Most of the men in my training platoon were draftees and talk would vary from anti-government diatribes, to the John Lennon, civil rights, and different ways to stay state side. There were a large number of scuffles and I saw more than one person get their teeth knocked out. I certainly learned hand to hand in basic training but more was in the barracks after chow than actually in class.

Whatever the cause it certainly was not the cohesive unit that I had been dreaming about but I didn't let that disappointment bother me, everything else was more than I ever imagined. Turns out after 15 years of not being held to anything I loved the discipline of the Air Force. I craved it. My life had never had any order and everything suddenly made sense to me. Even reviler made me wake up feeling like I had a purpose. I discovered I enjoyed learning. I had never liked school but I took in every bit of information they could tell me about planes and guns and procedure and military tactics history and Vietnam. I began to bleed USAF blue. I didn't care if no one else wanted to be there; I did and I knew the Air Force was the best thing I could have done with my life.

It's a good thing I felt that way because at the end of basic we "graduated" at 11am and by 7pm I was on a plane to an air base just North of Saigon.


	4. Vietnam

_WOW! I forgot I had published part of this already. I am really sorry to anyone who started reading the first 3 chapters and then I just stopped! The story is 95% finished, I just developed writer's block for the ending and need do some editing. Here is the fourth chapter and the next handful should be pretty quick to follow after this. Thank you if you're continuing to read!_

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><p>Jack shifted slightly where he sat, keeping his eyes down, focusing on his fingers which had unthinkingly removed the label from his beer bottle and were now folding and unfolding the scraps of paper.<p>

To everyone's surprise Teal'c was the first to speak, "I must agree with the parting words of JacobCarter's letter; I am happy in knowing that your life has become as it is now considering the path you took as a youth."

Jack looked up to his wise friend and tried to make as meaningful eye contact as he could, "Thanks T." Teal'c nodded solemnly, confirming the appreciation between the two warriors that was beyond their words.

Daniel adjusted his glasses, "Yeah, I mean wow Jack. I know that I've been glib in the past about the type of lives the special forces tries to recruit but I had no idea. I guess in some aspects you and I have more in common than I ever knew. I'm sorry."

Jack wasn't going to point out that although they both were in the foster system at least Daniel actually remembered his loving mother and father and was eventually taken out of the system by his grandfather; absent however he might have been. But still, he understood what his friend was getting at and mumbled his thanks as well.

A few moments of silence passed before Sam finally spoke. "I'm really…" she paused, struggling for the right word, "glad that you finally shared that part of you with us." She looked at him steadily, her blue eyes boring a hole into his soul and absolving his fears that she would think less of him once she knew his sordid childhood. "But, that still doesn't clarify what my father said. Why did he know you? What was the Jenks incident? Who is Bryant? What happened between then and now? We all know you well enough to know that you're smarter than you let on but a _'man who barely got his GED'_ would never make it high up the enlisted ranks, never mind become an officer and a pilot."

Jack sighed and scrubbed at the back of his neck. He closed his eyes, obviously thinking deeply of memories long past. Finally he nodded, "Okay, but we have got to get better seating accommodations because it's a long story and Daniel is about to explode from the sneeze he's been holding in for the past ten minutes…plus I'm going to need more beer." Everyone smiled in agreement and moved to leave the attic, laughing when Daniel finally did let go with a sneeze that almost sent him tumbling down the ladder.

Once they were all settled in O'Neill's partially packed living room each with a refreshed beverage, Jack began his tale again, "Where was I? Oh yes, so immediately after basic I was sent to Vietnam…

Living on the base in country was different than basic; life was less regimented and the sergeants were less strict. Even those who didn't want to be there were thankful to be on a secure airstrip as opposed to in the jungle so the anti-war and angry sentiments were far more subdued than I had experienced stateside. Even though we weren't in direct combat everything we were doing _was_ real, there were no simulations occurring and we knew that we had to rely on each other and trust the guy next to us was doing his job right. It was there that I discovered how it felt to work as a team and discovered that sense of camaraderie I had felt missing during my introduction to military life.

Even though I was 16 by the time I got to Vietnam I was still 2 years younger than the youngest Airmen on base and clearly too young to be there. That plus not holding any specialized skills I was assigned to the grounds and facilities crew and I was the grunt of the crew. Everything you think of to be the lame end of military life was my job. I scrubbed toilets, kept the runway and tarmac clear of debris and plants, fixed fences, roofs, hauled trash, fetched supplies and swept what felt like every square inch of that base. I was happy enough; it kept me occupied and filled me with purpose but it didn't take too long for me to become distracted and to develop a fascination with the planes.

For the first time I can recall I remember being truly inquisitive about learning how something worked. Sure during basic I had been excited to learn about guns and explosives but I only cared about the power they had, not how they worked. Planes were different; I wanted to know everything about them; how they moved, why they worked and every little piece that was a part of the bigger machine. I began hanging around the hanger when I was finished with my shift and before long I had been, for lack of a better term, 'adopted' by the mechanics.

They showed me everything about the planes we had and I took it all in as eagerly as I could. I would skip meals in the mess for the opportunity to work with them on the hangar. I shocked myself by being a quick study and before long I was as handy with a wrench as anyone else in the hangar bays and spent just as much time among the planes as the rest of them. Even though the planes had the name of their pilots painted on the side I began to join the mechanics in thinking they were _OUR_ planes, we just lent them to the pilots.

It's strange to think back on it because those guys were my teachers and mentors but in reality they were all no more than kids themselves. Gerry was MAYBE 24 and his nickname was 'Paps' because he was so much older than the rest of us. We were all so young but in those dark nights and in those muggy barracks we thought we were men. We would gamble, drink, swap tall tales of cars and women. I was more of a dirty old man by the age of 17 than most men ever are.

The pilots of course were a different breed; they were all college educated, most from decent backgrounds and several of them were close to 30 or older. They kept to themselves and didn't pay much attention to us with the exception of Major Jenks.

When we first met Major Jenks was on his 3rd tour, had flown dozens of missions, never lost a plane and never missed his target. He didn't drink or smoke but officers were always being given cigerettes and booze so he would pass them along to the mechanics as a way of saying thank-you for taking care of his plane. Even though I wasn't a mechanic he paid attention and knew where I spent my time and would pass me stuff as well. I remember he once gave me a cola and a comic book saying I reminded him of his younger brother and he was sad that someone so young was in such a place but I worked hard so he wouldn't make any waves for me as long as I stayed on base. I thanked him but wasn't sure what he was talking about. As far as I was concerned Vietnam was the greatest experience I ever had.

Really, for the most part, being on the airstrip offered a romanticized version of the war. I had heard about draft dodgers and men and politicians clamoring about the atrocity that was Vietnam but the air base was deep in friendly territory and heavily protected. My day to day routine was not too different than if I had been stationed somewhere in the states. Only occasionally did I ever even hear artillery fire in the far distance.

Once Jenks let us know that they would be dropping Napalm on a ridge close enough that we might see the light from the base. That evening after the planes took off we clamored to the roof of the barracks and drank and smoked and watch the air raid as if it were the Fourth of July. Now I know the horror of napalm and the civilian casualties who must have been hit that night and it makes me ill but that night I sat on that roof with my friends, warm food in my stomach, clean BDUs on my back and all I could think of was how the Air Force was the greatest thing that had ever happened to me.


	5. S & R

**Thank you** for the reviews!

A special note to those who are worrying about Jack's education (or lack thereof); please don't worry. The need for an education is actually a significant element later in the story. Jack just had his GED when Jacob knew him years and years ago. You'll notice that despite things that occur while in Vietnam Jack is no higher than an Airman, the lowest rank for an active duty member of the Air Force. If anyone read my story _"It's Called The Accretion Disc__"_ you know that I like #educatedjack.

On a personal note I also don't like those stories which make him out to be less than smart because that assumes that just anyone can do what our military men and women do and I have far too much respect for them for that; anyone who has seen a marine cramming over his trig before returning from leave knows that the armed forces just doesn't accept ignorance.

I DID play around a bit (obviously) with Jack initially enlisted, but my excuse was that it was the darkest point of the Vietnam war and things were different and kind of a mess for everyone; heck it happened in WWII so I just applied the same principle…kindof. I did consider that it would make more accurate sense for him to join the army then enlist with the Air Force later but I keep thinking of the moment when he meets Gen. Ryan in "Prodigy" and how O'Neill is so starstruck and shows such childish love for the Air Force in that scene and I figured that had to come from the Air Force being his true home and what saved him. Plus it would be harder for him to meet Jacob if he was in the army so I took some liberty in fudging how things really worked, but I hope it's not to the detriment of the story for most of you. Thank you again for reading and sharing your thoughts. ~TJ

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><p>Daniel shook his head, amused. "Only you would love the Vietnam War."<p>

Jack's face stilled and his eyes went dark. "I didn't say that Daniel."

Daniel opened his mouth to retort but upon seeing the stony expression on O'Neill's face he decided it was best to remain quiet.

Teal'c broke the tension, "You have shown a greater devotion to your AirForce than many others I have met O'Neill. Perhaps DanielJackson intended to infer that your relationship with the AirForce is unique."

Daniel shifted his eyes to Teal'c then back to Jack's dark face. He nodded insistently. "That's EXACTLY what I meant."

Jack shifted and stopped glaring at Daniel, "Okay, well what ever. It doesn't really matter anyway. It was forever ago. So, yeah, I was there on that base for a few years, it changed a lot about me and what I thought of myself and what I wanted to do with my life so when I was done with Vietnam and came stateside I used that experience to do what I could and become the man you have been aggravating for the better part of a decade. The end."

Daniel and Teal'c remained quiet at the sudden and obviously abbreviated telling of the tale.

"Uh-uh." Sam shook her head.

Jack turned to face her, a confused look on his face, "Yeah-huh. That's what happened."

"No,"

"Yes." He cut her off with an insistent nod and a glint of humor in his eye.

She looked like she was swallowing a scream for a moment. "I'm not Daniel. You can't play this back and forth argument game with me." She stared at him for a moment, daring him to open his mouth again.

"Uh…" She cut him off by raising her eyebrows and narrowing her eyes until he held up his palms in surrender.

"Anyway, as I was saying" Sam said in a long suffering tone, "No, that's not ALL that happened and you can't get away with just rushing through it like that. You started telling us all this because of a letter MY father wrote to YOU but we haven't even touched on that yet and I want to understand it. What was the 'Jenks Incident'?"

Jack looked at her intently, pursing his lips. Finally he heaved a sigh, "A long time ago I decided I wouldn't tell this story anymore because it wasn't just some entertainment." He paused. "But I know that's not what it is for you guys so I'll talk but bear with me okay? And Danny, I'm serious, NO interruptions!"

Daniel just nodded. Satisfied with the looks he was receiving from his audience Jack began his tale again, "Two days after we watched the napalm drop Major Jenks went out and didn't come back.

I was on shift working the tarmac when the planes returned and I remember knowing, even from a distance, which plane was missing.

I stayed out on the runway after my shift, studying the sky, waiting for the sound or sight of Jenks' plane. After dinner Paps found me and told me how the rest of the mechanics had bribed the Colonel's corporal to share the details.

Jenks had been hit and his plane went down but the other pilots saw him eject and chute open.

No one seemed to know exactly what was going on but for some reason the Colonel was not immediately authorizing a S&R mission. I remember not sleeping at all that night, my imagination running wild at the thought of what Major Jenks might be going through out in the woods. For the first time the war became a scary thought for me.

Luckily Jenks was a popular enough guy that the other officers pressured the CO into supporting a mission. We were all assembled and the Colonel announced that he would not order anyone but would authorize a small volunteer force. Despite his popularity and despite the officers' insistence that someone should go find him only 4 of us volunteered; myself, Paps, a Lt. and a Captain.

The Captain and the Colonel had a bit of a shouting match as the Captain insisted on going while the Colonel refused to risk the life of another pilot and would not allow him to go. Eventually rank won out and the Captain stepped back in line.

The Colonel had no reservations however about risking the rest of us so myself, Paps and the LT got kitted up. The Captain who had wanted to come along provided us with a map of the area and briefed us as to where the plane went down and some intel on the area.

While the Lt folded up the map the Captain grabbed me by the shoulder and spun me around, looking me up and down. I was waiting for the inevitable comment about my youth and remember being sorely afraid that I wouldn't be allowed to go. Instead he looked me square in the eye and asked, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

I tried to squeeze as much force into my reply as I could, "Sir. Yes, Sir I am."

He paused and cocked his head to the side before he asked me, "Why?"

I was a little startled and didn't know how to respond especially because I hadn't given too much thought to it myself; I had just felt compelled to go. With slightly less confidence I replied to the Captain, "Because it's the proper thing to do Sir…. Isn't it?... Sir."

I hadn't meant to sound so unsure but his question had me doubting myself. My fears were assuaged when he nodded sternly and a ghost of a smile flitted across his face, "Yes Airman…O'Neill, it is the right thing to do. We don't leave our people behind. See to it that you don't."

Those words meant a lot to me, "WE don't leave our people behind." He was a Captain, a pilot, over a decade my senior, and I was just the Airman who scrubbed his toilets, but he had said "We". He and I had the Air Force values in common and on one level that made us equals. The revelation floored me. I had seen how vehemently the Captain had argued to go after Jenks, knew how important he felt this mission was. I was determined to show him he could trust me to go where he could not. "Sir yes Sir. We won't sir."

He nodded and walked away. I turned back to Paps and the Lieutenant and we set off from the base and into the jungle.

I had been through basic and had done security patrols on the base but this was my first real patrol. Being the street rat that I was and having no real appreciation for what was out there I was eager to fire-fight my way through the jungle and prove myself as more than a boy in men's clothing.

Of course the initial hike did nothing for my sense of adventure. We hiked mountains that were impossibly steep through days which were intolerably hot and humid. We came across no Viet-Cong, Communist enemies or even passive villagers; instead we struggled against waist high mud and walls of brush containing knife sized thorns. The brush was sometimes so thick that we would have to stop and take turns hacking a path ahead.

The Lt was technically in command of our little mission but he had been in country even less than myself and was more than happy to allow Paps to take the lead as he had actually been on patrols on a previous tour.

I remember thinking at the time that the Lt was a weak coward but in retrospect I feel bad for the kid. He hadn't grown up wealthy but had known he enough that he wasn't cut out for war so he got a college deferment hoping the war would be over by the time he graduated. The kicker was that he couldn't afford college on his own so he went on an AFROTC scholarship. Not only was the war NOT over by the time he graduated but he HAD to serve his time in the Air Force as a newly minted 22 year old officer.

Poor guy really hated it there. He had been an English major, hoping to serve his time as some high ranking officer's clerk but instead he was shipped out to our happy little corner of the universe to supervise the mess hall. He was entertaining though, told Paps and I stories of going to college in a city by the ocean. I had never been to the ocean and marveled at the stories of body surfing, sailing and deep sea fishing.

After a week of slow trekking we made it to the crash site. The plane was clearly shot down by ground base weaponry but the cockpit intact and parachute seat deployed just as the other pilots had reported. We radioed the location back to the base and then came up with our new direction based upon the wind the day the plane went down.

We had been hiking for 3 more days when Paps went down. We had been moving along at a steady clip and Paps was talking all about his hotrod Chevy back home when all of a sudden he was gone. Standing next to me one moment and in a blink of an eye he was on the ground, a thin red mist where his face had been.

If it wasn't for the Lt I would have been next because I froze, completely not comprehending the situation. Next thing I knew I was being pulled down and rolling onto the other side of an embankment created by a downed tree. My heart was pounding a million miles a minute and all I wanted to do was run up and pull Paps back to the safety of our embankment but I was held in place by the Lt.

The skinny little guy whom I assumed to be a coward because of his distaste for war was balancing his rifle in one hand and keeping me from giving away our position with the other. He saved my life and killed 3 Viet-Cong that day while I could do nothing more than sit in the mud and cry.

We collected Paps' dog tags and covered him in a shallow grave of jungle detritus, pledging to return for his body if we could. The Lt asked if I was able to keep it together, if I wanted to keep going. I actually stopped to consider returning to the base but then I remembered my conversation with that Captain and knew that I couldn't go back until I had honestly given all of my effort to return with Major Jenks. Despite my resolve I will never forget the coldness I felt leaving my friend in that shamble of a grave and I prayed for his spirit's forgiveness

Things didn't get better after that. We began hiking in silence, communicating with gestures and looks, freezing and dropping every time a twig snapped or something shifted in the jungle. We took turns sleeping and keeping watch, some nights choosing not to stop at all in favor of getting out of a particular area. It reminded me of the stress of being on the streets, escaping the gangbangers and the cops. It was better because I was with someone I could trust to have my back but it was worse because the stakes were so much higher.

We had a few more skirmishes but I had resolved not to freeze up again. I taught myself to compartmentalize my fear and refused to dwell to deeply on what it meant as I took another human's life. Like with the mechanics before I was a quick study. Although the Lt hadn't frozen like me in that first encounter he confided in me that he wasn't a strong marksmen and it was really only a lucky shot that got us out of there. He too worked to improve himself as a soldier during our journey. When we would stop to rest instead of trying to create a pillow out of his pack he would strip and clean the sights on his weapon and I would patrol a perimeter.

Each time we encountered resistance we became better and better at dispatching the enemies we came across. There were times when a brief firefight didn't even slow us down. We would pop off the enemy and keep on moving, not pausing to reflect on what happened or look at the bodies we left behind.

By the time we found the location of Major Jenks we were different men.


	6. Rescue

Some more Author's Notes!

So I had been roughly going by Jack being born in 1954. It turns out that references on the show put it more likely that he had been born in '52. Not a big difference but enough that comments about the draft don't line up (it was first pulled in December of 1969 and applied in 1970-73; plenty of time for someone born in '52 to be of appropriate age to be enlisted, trained and sent overseas .) So this is another liberty I'm going to have to take and stick with Jack's DOB being sometime in '54. Obviously the _whole_ SG world is fiction so I don't see it as too much of a big deal but I do like trying to stay as true to the show as possible as I prefer wondering what existed outside of the scenes we see and what we are told as opposed to A/U constructions.

Also; to the reviewer who commented, yes Minnesota is explained later as well! Thanks for spotting the details and keeping everything on track!

* * *

><p>"<em>Jesus<em> Jack." Daniel breathed.

"Ack! What did I say about interrupting?!" Jack exclaimed.

"I'm sorry but seriously! I can't believe they just sent you guys out there like that! I can't believe you went! I can't believe you survived and I can't imagine being just a kid in that situation!" Daniel was suddenly seeing possible sources of what he saw to be some of Jack's more haunting flaws including his infamous cynicism and lack of self preservation and it was all he could do not to shout in anger at the life his friend has lead at much too young an age.

Jack swallowed whatever his first response was before leveling one of his all too serious looks at Daniel. "There were half a million kids in that situation Daniel." At Daniel's uncomprehending stare Jack continued, "Well half a million American kids. There were far, far more if you care about other nationalities, which I know you do. But really, yes I was younger than most but at the time I was almost 18. Next time you go to a mall, look around; can you tell the difference between a 17 year old or a 19 or 20 year old? Everyone in that war was just a kid, it is the painful truth of our history that it is always our children that we send to war. Many of those kids in Vietnam had way worse experiences than I did. I never undervalue my luck at being stationed where I was. And by the way, over 58 thousand of those kids didn't come home, over 10,000 names on that wall in DC never made it to see their 20th birthday. So yes I was just a kid but I was really no different than the man next to me."

Daniel was quiet after Jack's exposition, "I'm sorry Jack. I didn't mean anything…I just, it just… I know it was a terrible war but I've just never really had to think of any of my friends in that kind of situation. I mean the only war I've seen has been at the SGC where almost everyone is an officer with years of experience under their belt before we send them off in small teams on their own."

Jack cast his eyes down, "Well that's changing, isn't it? I just signed approval for 7 new recruits fresh from the academy. No years of experience for _them_." he mumbled.

Sam nodded, "True, but you know this is different than what you went through. The young folks we're recruiting are the best out there and it's not like we send a team of all new recruits off to hostile locations on their own. We split them up and place them with experienced science and outreach teams for a while. You yourself were a big part of instituting the whole system and it's worked well."

Jack nodded. "Yeah, until it doesn't. Every time a relatively green officer gets hit or goes down it makes me reevaluate our selection and training process and worry about how were preparing them. As Daniel has pointed out, I've been thrown into situations that were above my head and I hate to do that to someone else, especially these kids with such potential."

"I believe that your constant evaluation of training procedures and concern for members of the SGC are things that make you a strong leader and have made you much beloved by members on base." Teal'c offered.

"Thanks buddy," Jack conceited.

"However," Teal'c cut off whatever Jack was going to say next, "I am rather anxious to hear the rest of your story if you don't mind. Perhaps after its conclusion we can have further discussions regarding the training protocol for your off world programs."

Jack smiled and rolled his eyes before agreeing to continue, "Okay so it was 6 days after Paps was shot we found the prison camp; if you could call it that.

It was a small clearing with 3 rows of 4 bamboo cages. Each cage was about 3 feet wide, 4 foot tall and long and each held a man…or the remains of one. Viet-Cong walked through the area with everything from Chinese rifles to American machine guns and machetes. I saw one that even had a nickel plated magnum revolver. What appeared to be the guard quarters had a roof made from an USAF parachute.

The Lt and I retreated back into the jungle to discuss the situation. Given the parachute we decided it was pretty likely that Jenks was in one of those cages. We spent some time deciding how much effort we should spend confirming our suspicions but in the end we decided that even if he wasn't it was obvious that Americans were being held captives there and it was our duty to help save them, even if that was not our originally mission.

A quick count found about 20 VC at the camp. We were obviously outnumbered so needed a plan better than just opening fire. We sat on that ridge for 3 days watching the guards, their movements and shift patterns. The prisoners were only released when labor was needed in the camp; a boulder moved or a hole dug. We rejoiced on the 2nd day when we saw Major Jenks looking uninjured although a bit worse for wear. We decided to wait one more day to be sure our plan would work.

The plan was supposed to be simple. The camp sent out patrols every morning at approximately 0200. When they left minimal personnel remained at the camp until 'hunting party' returned sometime after 9 am. The sun began to rise about 6am giving us 3 hours of day light to act against the depleted man power. We decided that the LT who had been on the track team in college would drop a couple of grenades into the barracks from the hill that ran alongside the encampment. I was the better shot so I would remain on the far side and shoot the remaining guards as they inevitably would respond to and be distracted by the explosion.

After the patrol headed out in the early hours of the 4th day we shook hands, offered each other good lucks and the Lt left to make his way around the camp to the back of the barracks while I steadied myself in the position we had determined was best for making the shots.

We weren't supposed to move into action until 20 min after dawn but an explosion in the forest as the sun's rays were beginning to reach through the trees quickly turned the whole thing into a cluster. The guards turned toward the explosion in the woods but it also woke up the camp and pulled more guards out of the barracks to see what was going on.

Unsure as to what to expect and fearing that the explosion would draw the guards to the Lt I decided to not wait for the grenades and just opened fire. Eventually the barracks did explode but not before I had half a dozen Viet-Cong in the clearing shooting back at me.

Luckily I had good cover and it was apparent that the guards left in the camp were not marksmen by any stretch and eventually the fire fight stopped. Disbelieving it was over I waited for five minutes before I willed myself to rise and run down to the clearing. The men in the cages were all cheering as I pulled a machete off of one of the dead men and cut open the cages. I felt like Captain America or something and added a little extra brandish as I hacked open the last few cages.

In total there were 8 men alive; 4 Vietnamese, 1 French and 3 Americans. They were covered in filth and were in various states of health and strength but they were grateful to be alive and free. They were all patting me on the back and shaking my hand and I felt a surge of pride when Jenks looked me in the eye and said, "Thank you, Son."

But that moment of glee was dissipated by his next words, "Where's the rest of the cavalry?"

My mind first flew to the thought of Paps, and how well he was respected by the pilots, Jenks included. I decided I would wait to tell the Major about the loss until the Lt was with us. That was when I realized that he had yet to join us in the clearing.

In a panic I scrambled up the hill next to the barracks, I can still remember the feeling of dread growing in my stomach. I didn't need to go too far to find him.

Our success in coming through the jungle and meticulous planning had given us confidence. Unfortunately the ability to spot and shoot Viet-Cong patrols does not help against landmines. The Lt lay curled in the fetus position; breathing heavily and grasping at his thighs. There was nothing left of his right leg below the knee and what was left of his left leg barely resembled a limb at all.

The initial explosion in the woods had been the landmine. Despite having most of his legs blown off he had managed to drag himself to the barracks and drop the grenades; killing 8 Viet-Cong.

I yelled for help. Jenks and the other Americans rushed to our position and began applying tourniquets and field dressings on to the Lt's legs. He remained conscious through the whole ordeal; but that was worse because when we began first aid he began crying and shouting in pain. Knowing him best I was told to get him to quiet down but he wouldn't listen to me as I pleaded with him to keep quiet, I don't blame him, how could he? Still he had to be quiet for fear of being heard by the surely returning patrol so I covered his mouth and held him still as he fought against me. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

As time passed and the patrol had yet to arrive everyone began to grow anxious. The Vietnamese prisoners wanted to stay to fight but the rest wanted to just leave without any more fighting. Additionally we knew we needed to head back if the Lt had any chance of surviving. Through a mix of broken Vietnamese, English, French, Chinese and pantomime it was decided that the Vietnamese would stay on their own while the Frenchman and Americans would head back. By the time it was all sorted out so much time had passed that we feared there wasn't enough time to build a stretcher so we picked the Lt up and carried him back up the ridge and into the jungle.

Many of the prisoners had been in the camp for over a month with minimal food and exercise so it was really slow going. After the first day it was obvious we needed to stop so we holed up in an alcove and I pulled some of the heavier vegetation around us hopefully to provide decent cover while we were still deep in VC territory. We had collected some food from the guard quarters but there hadn't been much there. I warned the group we still had a long way back to an evac zone so we resisted splitting open the little remaining rations the Lt and I had brought with us. Before the night passed we also built a stretcher to properly carry the Lt.

We moved out again at daybreak going as fast as the group was able but most were so weak and with the added burden of carrying the Lt the pace was slow. We ran into a few more skirmishes along the way but luckily less than on the way in and with the additional men we were able to take down any resistance with relative ease. It still took us two weeks to make it back to the site of Jenks' downed plane. Our rations had run out the first week and we had to devote time each day to foraging and hunting for food and water.

By the time we made it to the plane the Lt. had long been unconscious. The burns from the mine explosion had cauterized most of the wounds so between that and the tourniquet he hadn't lost too much more blood but after 2 weeks in the woods with minimal water and no soap his legs became infected and he was wracked with chills, fever and delusions. They were the worst because apparently the delusional Lieutenant was a fan of opera and would launch into arias. Time and time again we would have to stop and quiet him or partially smother him while still on the move. Not once did anyone suggest he wasn't going to make it or that we should leave him behind; we all took turns carrying the stretcher and splashing water on his face, trying to keep him cool and alive.

Once we got to the plane we radioed the base and after some cajoling from Jenks they finally sent a chopper to come pull us out. The Lt was stabilized the best the base staff could do and then sent to the American hospital in Tokyo. Major Jenks and I were ordered to escort the Lt to Tokyo and then granted 2 weeks of downtime in the city."


	7. What Comes Next

At this point in his narrative Jack paused, a wry smile flitting over his face as he obviously became distracted by a memory.

"What?" Daniel caught Jack's hesitation.

Jack shook his head. "Nothing, anyway…"

"No, what were you thinking, just then?" The archaeologist pushed.

Jack glanced furtively around the room and lightly rolled his neck as he tried to think of the right words to say. "Ahh…while we were in the jungle a lot was shared, you know, truths about each other, without the bravado that was often on base. So when we got to Tokyo Jenks insisted that I certainly was not just a boy but that you couldn't call yourself a man before you…eh…well he insisted that it wasn't right for a man to have killed before he, err…you know…loved a woman." Jack could feel the blush creep up the back of his neck.

"So you fell in love while in Tokyo O'Neill?" Teal'c asked.

Jack squinted at the Jaffa for a moment, unsure if he was truly asking or if this was one of those infamous moments of Teal'c's humor.

"Uh, not…exxxactly Teal'c…" Jack winced as he said it and Daniel grinned in amusement at his friend's discomfort.

Sam cleared her throat. "So anyway…"

Jack shot her a look of gratitude before happily taking the out, "YES! Anyway! It had been over a month and half since leaving the base to when I returned to resume normal duties. All the time we had been hiking back I couldn't wait to get back to the base and return to what I had come to embrace as normal. I missed the camaraderie with the mechanics and the innocence of watching the war from a distance.

It wasn't long before I learned what every veteran knows; you can never go back to how it was before. You can pretend, but you won't feel good about it until you figure out how to move on for yourself.

I tried to jump back into the routine of helping with the planes in the hangar but the mechanics all wanted to talk about my _GRAND_ adventure out killing the Viet-Cong and what happened to Paps and the Lt. I tried to play along and started to explain what happened just once; sitting on a discarded turbine with all the grease stained men sitting in front of me at apt attention it was like some sordid overgrown community story time.

I felt dirtier with each excited question and smile they gave me in return. They wanted to know if Paps looked surprised when he went down, and how many Viet Cong I killed. When I stopped to count for the first time I found myself reviewing their faces and I realized with a start that many of the "men" I had killed looked like they were younger than myself. I felt sick to my stomach and the guys all jeered me when I refused to give them a number. Heckling at me when I stopped the story and walked away.

Before long I just stopped hanging out with them, they either asked questions I didn't want to answer or mocked me when I was quiet. Instead I began to spend a lot of time sitting on the wing of inactive planes watching the jets take off and imagining I was with them; high above the jungle. I still felt the Air Force was the place for me; it was certainly better than living on the street but I didn't want to scrub toilets anymore and I didn't want to fight on the ground; I wanted to fly.

I had been spending a great deal of time with Major Jenks. Whereas before he had paid me attention just as one of the guys he had begun to really take me under his wing; he showed me everything from how to tell time by the sun and stars to how to grill on the engine block of a jeep."

"Well that explains your barbeque skills…" Daniel murmured, earning a glare from his friend.

"Anyway…" Jack started again after Daniel raised his hands in apologetic surrender, "We were spending enough time together that I felt safe admitting my dreams of flying to the major.

To my surprise he seemed eager to hear it and told me that it was entirely possible if I was willing to work hard.

I was truly excited and had to fight to contain myself, "Of course Major! You know I can work hard. I'll do whatever it takes to fly sir. I can handle whatever training they make you go through!"

Jenks smiled, "I'm glad to hear that you're willing to do whatever it takes Jack because it won't be easy, but I know you can do it if you set yourself to it. However I'm not worried about the training for you, I bet you could go through flight school blindfolded. No, what's going to require effort for you is going to be getting there first."

I was confused, "How do you get to flight school sir? "

He leaned back against his jet, "You have to be an officer first."

I nodded eagerly, "Okay, that's fine. I just need someone to nominate me to OTS, right? That's what happened to one of the guys I graduated basic with...Can you nominate me or does it need to be a specific person?"

The Major tilted his head, "Don't you know that you need to have a college degree to be an officer?"

My face fell, "I thought that was just to enlist and start out as an officer. I've served for a couple of years now, I kind of figured you could go to OTS after being on active duty for a while."

Jenks shook his head, "No Jack. You need 4 years or more of a college degree to become an officer. To be eligible for flight training you need to make good marks too."

I was crest fallen. I knew I was good at mechanics and the things you need to know how to do to be a soldier but I had never been a strong book learner and saw my dreams of flying fade away. I shuffled my feet and stared at the ground, desperately trying to determine what this new information meant for my future.

Jenks let out a derisive snort, "Airman! Keep your eyes off your boots! Didn't you just tell me you were willing to do whatever it takes?"

I shoved my hands in my pockets and looked the Major in the eye, "Yes sir I did. But just because I want something doesn't mean I can do it. I didn't even really go to high school. Just getting into college, never mind graduating with good grades, is just impossible sir. I've never had the brains for it school and that's not going to change just because I want it to."

Jenks was quiet for a moment. "You can do anything if you want it bad enough. The trick is to not forget how bad you want it." He smiled, "Tell you what; give me two weeks. And keep your chin up Airman."

When I met up with him in the mess two weeks later there was a box in front of him. It had a thick envelope and a stack of books. Wordlessly he handed me the envelope. I emptied the contents on to the table; it was the GED requirements and preparation packet.

Jenks put his hand on my shoulder, "I know you can work hard, I also know you've got the brains, even if you don't yet believe it yourself. I don't like to be wrong so make sure I'm not; don't let me down and let's show everyone else who Jack O'Neill can be. This is step one."

So began my secondary education in earnest. For the rest of my time in Vietnam Major Jenks enlisted most of the other pilots and officers to help me study and prepare so I could get my GED. It was a team effort that became one of the base's unofficial morale missions.

Once I was actually banned from going on duty until I could pass a math chapter I was struggling with. If an officer saw me hanging around doing nothing they would either issue a pop quiz on their favorite subject or shoo me inside to keep studying. Before long all I did was my duty work and study. I brought the books with me to each meal and would complete exercises before bed. More than once during unit PT I had to run through multiplication tables while everyone else was counting off jumping jacks and pushups.

Throughout this time the war began changing. We were no longer running an offensive, we were supporting a crumbling strategy and a scramble to fix what everyone feared was a lost cause. Infantry units began arriving on base to be shipped out or flown to Saigon. These men were different than those on base. They had spent their war in the brush and swamps, moving from village to village, never sure what they would encounter next and never knowing who could be trusted.

We had remained pretty diligent on base but there were lots of draftees in these incoming ranks; men who didn't want to be there, counted down their days remaining and showed their distaste for the military with grown out hair and non-regulation adjustments to their uniform. It was as if they were from a different country. The stories they told so cavalierly satiated the mechanics' desire for entertainment but I couldn't help but see the haunted look in their eyes. As I heard tale after tale about what they had seen and done; under orders and not, blew away any of the remaining vestiges of my deluded perception of the war. I was more motivated than ever to continue studying as if it held salvation from the grim realities of war and its base professions.

It was close to the end of my tour when I was deemed ready to take the test. It was required the test be administered in a certain setting with a proctor. I hadn't realized it but the Colonel himself had gotten permission for me to take the test in his office with him overseeing it. I was so nervous that I broke all of my pencils and had to finish the last two pages using half a pencil.

We were still waiting for the results to arrive when a small administrative platoon arrived on base with a squad of recruiters to reenlist everyone whose time was running short. I was on my way to meet them when Jenks stopped me.

"Where you headed Airman?" He asked, calling at me from the mess hall.

I gestured over my shoulder, "Going to sign on the dotted line sir."

Instead of grinning and sending me on my way as I assumed he would he approached me slowly from across the yard, a serious look on his face. When he got to within 2 feet of me he stopped. "Don't" he said.

I'm fairly certain my jaw dropped. I was totally confused. Jenks had said I was a great airman and that I could make officer some day and now he didn't even want me in the Air Force? I was stunned and hurt. "Sir?"

He smiled, and put his hand on my shoulder. "You are great addition to the Air Force O'Neill and it's been a rare and true honor to serve with you."

I didn't know how to react to such praise which seemed in contradiction to his previous instruction not to re-enlist. I stammered my confusion.

"Jack," he continued, not put off by my inarticulate murmur, "You told me you want to be an officer and you're right to want that. It's good ambition which I know you can achieve. But not here Jack. You need to go home and focus on getting yourself educated so you can come back and do all that you want to do."

I wanted to cry. He had such firm belief in me when I still didn't believe in myself. Didn't he know I was just a street urchin who was beyond lucky just to be on that base? I wasn't sure how to make him understand that I didn't just want to re-up…I _needed_ to, "Sir, the Air Force is home."

He looked sad and nodded slowly, but I wasn't sure if he understood. "Major, my last night before I went to basic I spent on a bench in the park. By the time I get stateside I'll be 19. I couldn't get in to a foster home even if I wanted to and without that option I have no where to go. If I leave I'll have the money I've saved up here but that's it; no job, no skills, no home, not even any clothes other than my uniform. It would be great to go to school and be super smart and come back with tin on my shoulder and fly planes but I just don't see how that's going to work. If I stay I can work real hard and once I get my GED I can maybe start to move up. I've been looking at some of the assignments that NCOs can do and they seem pretty cool. When the war is over and I'm stationed stateside maybe I can take some extra training courses and become some kind of Technical Sergeant and maybe even a Master Sergeant someday. I'm willing to work hard Major, really I am…but I just can't leave. Please don't make me. I'll be lost without the Air Force."

He was quiet for a long while before he offered, "What if you had somewhere to go?"

I went back to being confused, "Sir?"

He smiled again, "What if you had somewhere stateside that you could go to? Somewhere to call home with people who would welcome you and help you?"

For a moment the image of entering a house warm with family flitted through my mind but I stopped it, "Sir, I couldn't impose on anyone like that."

Jenks nodded, "Don't you worry about that. If I were to find you a place where the people would be very happy to have you would you go?"

I had no choice but to think it over. "Sir, you're saying I should leave to further my education. That's assuming that's even an option. We don't even know if I got my GED never mind if I can get in to college!"

He rocked on his heels, "What about this. If you passed your GED exam you agree to go and not come back to the Air Force until you've either got a college degree or have given it a true and solid effort. If you did not pass your GED you can go ahead and sign a new contract but you have to try again and we get to have this conversation again in 4 to 6 years."

It was too much to think about. Why was this man whom I looked up to so much so insistent that I do something more with my life? I didn't understand but I felt if I didn't accept his deal that I'd be disappointing him and that was the last thing I wanted to do so I nodded my head. "Okay sir, it's a deal."

He smiled. "Great! Look what came in today's mail bag!" He pulled a thin envelope from his cargo pocket and handed it to me. It was my GED results.

He stood there, obviously waiting for me to open it but I was suddenly afraid. Thanks to the deal I had just made the words on the letter meant a whole lot more than whether or not I achieved my high school equivalency; it meant what my quickly approaching future was going to look like.

"Don't just stand there! Open it!" Jenks did not appear nearly as anxious as I felt. I guarded myself against whatever torrent of emotions was going on inside my head and opened the envelope and unfolded the letter.

I read it once, and then again, during my third read through an expectant Jenks cleared his throat.

I looked at him, not entirely sure how to react, "I passed….sir."

He smiled broadly, "Excellent. I have some phone calls to make. Make sure you keep away from those recruiters O'Neill!"

I nodded slowly, folded the letter back into its envelope and turned back to my bunk in the opposite direction of the recruiting Lieutenants.

2 weeks later I was packing my gear and waiting for my chopper. I still hadn't heard from Jenks about where I was supposed to go when I got stateside and could feel myself growing more and more anxious with each passing hour.

"I hope you have room for these." Major Jenks stood at the foot of my bunk with the books we had used to study. I just looked at him.

"They're Lieutenant Bryant's. He only loaned them to you and wants them back. He said you should deliver them personally to him. He's been released from the hospital and is living with his family in Minnesota. He also was hoping that when you did that perhaps you could stay a while. Apparently his Dad's been sick and his Mom has been having a bit of a problem with some of the more physical chores around the house now and Bryant hasn't quite figured out how to manage to contribute as he's still struggling with his chair and crutches. He figured someone like you might be able to be a big help to have around."

I stared at him, slack-jawed. I understood the thinly veiled offer and assumed the conversations the two officers must have had and I was touched. Not only was there a place to go but it was with someone who already knew all about me and my shortcomings and it was presented in a manner that allowed me to feel as if I could contribute and earn my keep as opposed to feeling like a charity case.

He gave me the address and advised me how to use service flights to get to Saint Cloud once I landed in the US. I easily fit the books in my bag and got on the Helicopter an hour later and by the time night fell I was out of Vietnam and on my way** home**.


	8. Bryant, Jacob and Jenks

"MajorJenks sounds like an admirable man O'Neill. You were fortunate to have him to motivate you." Teal'c intoned.

Jack squinted while absent mindedly rubbing the side of his neck, "Yeah, I guess so."

Sam spoke up. "I think I know him. Was his first name Francis?" Jack nodded. Sam smiled, "Yes, he was friends with my Dad. He retired a Colonel while I was working in DC right before I came out here."

Jack nodded, "Yep. Bryant and I went to his retirement shin dig. Were you there?"

She shook her head in amazement, "Yes, I went with my Dad! There weren't that many people there, I can't believe I didn't recognize you when we met the next month."

Jack shrugged nonchalantly, "We didn't stay super long and kinda kept to ourselves." After an expectant pause he elaborated, "There were an awful lot of brass in that room and you know how I am around generals."He pantomimed an exaggerated shiver as everyone else in the room rolled their eyes.

"I am willing to bet though that was the instance that your father was referring to in the letter, I can't think of another time that he and Bryant would have spent any time chatting and even though I didn't see him I remember Bryant telling me that Jacob was there."

Sam was quiet, reaching back through her memory, grimacing in frustration, "I don't remember anyone in a wheel chair."

Jack smiled, "How about arm crutches? Bob's got artificial legs now but he uses the crutches on long days. And remember he would have been one of the few not in uniform."

Sam visibly brightened, "Yes! I did meet him. Now I'm sorry that I didn't pay much attention as Dad was introducing me to people!"

Jack shrugged, "May be you'll meet him if you're visiting me in DC. He lives in Philadelphia now so hopefully I'll be seeing him more often when I'm out there."

Teal'c raised his eyebrows, "You have obviously stayed close with formerLtBryant."

Jack nodded, "Yeah. We have. Which speaks a lot about what a good guy he is considering how much of a distant ass I've been on occasion."

Daniel snorted in amusement. At Jack's glare the archaeologist shrugged "As long as you don't turn back into a distant ass now that you're heading across the country."

With a long suffering expression Jack shook his head, "Don't worry Danny, I won't. Besides, I promised Jacob I'd keep an eye on all you kids."

Everyone grinned at Jack's thinly veiled excuse to keep in touch. As if suddenly struck by a thought Daniel leaned forward, "Yeah, anyway, about that, where does Jacob factor in to your whole story?"

Jack locked eyes with Sam, "Carter knows. Don't you Sam?" He smiled as he could literally see the wheels turning as she reflected on the details of the story. Her teammates could tell the exact moment she figured it out. She sat up straighter and her eyes widened as a hesitant smile broke out across her face.

"The other pilot. He was the Captain that wanted to join you to find Jenks, wasn't he?" She looked to O'Neill for confirmation.

Jack smiled and nodded. "Yep. Good ol' Jake. I'll never forget those words he said to me that day." His gaze dropped obviously recalling the moment.

Daniel squinted for a moment, thinking through Jack's story before he remembered what Jack was referring to, "_We don't leave our people behind._ You got **that** from Sam's Dad? Wow."

"Indeed O'Neill. That philosophy is significant to your identity as a warrior and has earned you much respect across the galaxy." Teal'c seemed also impressed with the origin of Jack's strongest personal philosophy.

Sam smiled. "You said that you didn't turn back in the jungle because you didn't want to let him down."

Jack nodded slowly. "Yes."

If possible her smile broadened and her eyes softened, "It must be good to know that even decades later you never not let him down."

Jack smiled in amusement and let out a small chuckle. "Yeah, I guess even when some of the more trying moments have been because of him. Back then I never could have imagined your Dad having such a fatalistic attitude!"

Everyone joined in Jack's amusement, each remembering their own moments of Jack and Jacob's vehement disagreements.

Daniel suddenly looked confused again, "Wait a minute. Didn't Hammond and Jacob serve together? So did you…"

He was cut off by a wave of Jack's hand. "Not really. He came in a couple of days before I left. The only reason why I remember him at all is because he struck me as kind of strange and wigged me out because I felt like he was always staring at me. Turns out he was just distracted by the young airman who was so reminiscent of the strange people he released from custody a few short years prior."

"Wow." Sam smiled, remembering the young Hammond they had all met in 1969.

Jack shrugged and smiled. He was feeling surprisingly good for having told his story to his friends. He wouldn't have thought there was anything between them before but he he realized that although he was more truthful with them than anyone that he had still been hiding from them. He found himself feeling suddenly more relaxed and almost free now that they knew about his childhood and the path he had taken.

The only thing keeping him from heaving a sigh of contentment was that Daniel had a look on his face, the same look he had when he didn't quite trust what someone was telling him but didn't yet have the information to flush it out. Slightly annoyed, but sure to inject humor in his tone Jack decided to just get it out there and ask, "What is it Daniel?"

Visibly startled by the question Daniel sputtered while he tried to put his thoughts into words, "It's just interesting I mean, this Major Jenks man seemed to be a huge factor in how your life turned out…"

Jack nodded, "Yes, he absolutely was. Perhaps the single strongest influence I ever had."

"Exactly," Daniel continued, "He was kind enough to you that you went into the jungle to save him,"

Jack nodded again, "Yeah…"

"You bonded on the way back and in Tokyo and the on the base after…" Daniel was no longer making eye contact, just counting off on his fingers the history of the relationship between Jenks and O'Neill.

Jack shifted, "Your point?"

But Daniel ignored him and continued his litany, "He made you believe in yourself, pushed you to achieve, energized the base behind supporting you getting your diploma and then backed you into a corner to do what was best for you; go to college and get a degree and if that weren't enough he arranged it so you had a good home to go to. Or at least I'm assuming that living with the Bryants was a good thing considering how much you love Minnesota…"

"Daniel!" Jack was impatient now.

"I'm sorry but it seems to me that Major Jenks was a great man who did a lot of really good things for you."

Jack cracked his neck and looked down at his beer bottle before softly agreeing, "Yeah, he was and he did."

"See, right there!" Daniel exclaimed gesturing at Jack, "What is that then?"

Jack looked around himself, "What is what, Daniel?!"

"Given that Jenks was such a positive person in your life why is it that when Teal'c first said it and when I just said it right now you agreed almost distastefully? Why is that? If this man was such a good friend to you how come at his retirement ceremony where there 'weren't a lot of people' you were gone so fast that Sam, one of the most observant people I know, didn't see you?"

Jack looked stonily back at Daniel and without the older man saying a word everyone in the room knew Daniel had hit upon something. As the realization and confusion reflected on their faces Jack knew that they knew and that he needed to continue his story if he were to hold on to the feeling of openness that he had been enjoying only moments ago.

Jack sighed and hefted himself from the couch and left the room. The rest of the team exchanged concerned glances at O'Neill's sudden departure. They didn't have time to debate going after him as Jack soon returned, fresh beer in hand.

"I've been doing a lot of talking and if I'm doing more I need to whet my whistle." He offered by way of explanation. He took a swig than sat down, placing the new cold bottle next to the old one which was noticeably half full.

Jack ran his hands over his thighs before he sighed again and began to respond to Daniel's inquiry, "Frank Jenks was a hugely positive force in my young life; I owe him everything I am and nothing will ever change that. But Daniel, I've lived a lot of life since Vietnam and people's altruistic motives are often not always what they seem."


	9. Minnesota

_I'm shooting for 2 chapters today so stay tuned for Chapter 10 later on today._

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><p>As you can all guess living with the Bryants in Minnesota was a great thing for me. I arrived in the early summer which was too late for me to enroll in any schools for the fall semester but it wasn't long after my arrival that Bryant had me filling out applications for Saint Cloud State and I was set to enroll the following Spring Semester.<p>

In the meantime I was warmly welcomed to stay with the family. Jenks hadn't been lying, they were in a tough spot; Bryants' Dad had a heart condition and was limited in what he could do, Bob himself was in struggling with his recovery and trying to adapt to life without legs and his mom was a tough lady but the house was old and there was only so much she could do.

I found the skills I had developed came in useful as I fixed the many broken appliances, and basic structural problems with the house. At first I was determined to just keep to my room and my chores, staying out of their way as much as possible but Mrs. Bryant put her foot down on that. I was expected to be at dinner with the family and to join in on family activities.

When she and Bob Sr found out about my childhood they set about finding things I may not have experienced; Bob's mom had me calling her Momma Bryant and taught me how to cook in the kitchen and introduced me to books like Tolkien and Dickens. She taught me all about music and theater. Bob Sr taught me how to play baseball and then took me to watch the high school hockey games. I enjoyed it so much that for Christmas he bought me a pair of skates and taught me how to play.

As for Bryant, he was in and out of depression. On his good days he taught me how to play chess and other board games like Monopoly and Parcheesi. Some days he'd be a little melancholy. Those were the days that he taught me to fish. I'd drive us out to the pond and we'd sit in near silence for hours, just surrounded by the wild. Whereas the jungle in Vietnam had been ominous and frightening the woods of Minnesota were just the most beautiful place I could hope to imagine and I was perfectly happy to join him in his stillness. After a few hours of quiet Bryant would start chatting and by the time we got home he'd be in great spirits.

Where the military had taught me the discipline I never realized I wanted, the Bryant family taught showed me the fun I never thought I could have. They showed me all the good, simple things in life, from walking a dog, flying a kite, bouncing a yo-yo or looking at the stars for no reason other than to admire the beauty. They taught me it was okay to laugh and that "being tough" could be over rated.

That was something that Bob struggled with; as opposed to things getting progressively better as he got stronger he began to realize that no matter how strong he became he'd always have limitations without his legs. There became more and more days when he was downright ornery and wouldn't want to do anything and would complain about how useless he'd become. On those days I couldn't get him to go fishing or play games but I could goad him into joining me as I worked around the house and find ways for him to help me fix what ever needed fixing.

One less than stellar moment was when we used him in his wheel chair as a kind of wheelbarrow to gather firewood. That came close to a broken arm for me and a black eye for him so we decided to calm down on the outdoor work once the snow came regularly. Instead during the winter we went to the garage. Bryant had a car that wasn't running and I told him I would fix it if he promised he would find a way to drive it. Getting to and from the garage and then figuring out the right jerry-rigging of the mechanics became a kind of therapy for him and by the time I was ready to start classes that Spring the car was modified and he was more confident and stronger.

The campus wasn't far from the Bryant household so after a long and fairly one-sided discussion I agreed to continue to live with them and commute to school. I didn't feel like I entirely fit in with the other college students anyway so I don't think I would have done well living in the dorms.

Plus it was great to have Bob help with my school work; not so much with all the content of my classes, but more of with helping me develop good study habits. Thanks to him school wasn't nearly as intimidating as I feared it would be and I found myself to be well placed in my classes.

I was challenged but not by the things I thought I would be. I'd get decent grades for the content of my papers but would get marked down for not knowing things like how to set up the page margins or heading so the paper had the proper format. Bob and his dad were both academic types and they helped get me caught up on those little things that you need to know but are supposed to learn in the course of normal schooling and never show up on any kind of preparatory guide.

I had initially planned on joining the AFROTC to work on my commission but Bob Sr convinced me that I should stick to my academics and focus my time on what I needed to study. He pointed out that once I graduated I could always re-enlist and apply for OTS which was only 3 months but if I failed a class because I didn't have time to study it would set me back a whole semester. I agreed and for the meantime I left the Air Force in a quiet corner of my mind.

I continued to take classes through the summer in order to catch up but it was a lighter schedule so I was looking for ways to fill my time. Enthralled with the liberty that driving gave him Bob often took long, meandering road trips and I would join him, riding shotgun. During the trips we would talk about everything. More and more the conversation came around to what were we going to do with our lives.

It was on one of those trips that we stumbled across a plot of land for sale.

It was way off the beaten track and wasn't very large. Much of the property was occupied by a closed pond which had been fished dry. It wasn't prohibitively expensive and almost on a whim we decided to go in together and buy it with our Air Force money.

We planned that we would build a cabin and then live as brotherly roommates. I figured I'd be too busy jet setting around the world to get married and settle down so it would be a great home base for me and Bob was convinced no one would want a legless husband so he would be more than happy keeping house and figured he would work in one of the shops in the small downtown. He was at a point where he was finally looking forward to being independent of his parents and I too was looking forward to having my own place so I would never again wonder where home was. The dream of a cabin in the woods was a boon for both of us.

That's what we spent the rest of the summer working on. We set up a tent and camped on the property during the weekend, building during the days and then we'd return to the Bryants' during mid-week for a dose of home life and so I could go to my Tues/Thurs class. We had a blast. We even had a pulley system so I could get Bob to the roof to help with the shingles before he managed to figure out how to use a ladder.

Actually, that was the summer I met Sara. She's from Boulder originally but was visiting her Uncle Winthrop for the summer and he owned the local hardware store. Needless to say Bob and I were at the store fairly frequently plus when it came to the roof beams and other things that Bob just really couldn't do, Winthrop would come over with the kids and help. She and I hit it off and when she went back to Colorado we became pen-pals which eventually developed into our first long distance relationship. I guess it was good practice for later in our life. All that experience living apart may have been how our marriage lasted as long as it did…

Over the course of building we got to know a lot of the folks in the little town. As you guys know everyone up there is really welcoming and it wasn't different back then. They were happy to have us join their community and we were invited to cook-outs and other gatherings. I began to feel even more at home there as I had in the Air Force and began thinking that may be I didn't need to become a pilot to have meaning in my life. I began to thing that being with those people and being a contributing member of the peaceful little community might be who I was meant to be.

We were pretty efficient that summer and we had most of the major exterior construction work done by the time I had to go back to classes in the fall. Throughout the academic year Bob stayed mostly up at the cabin working on the plumbing and electrical. On long weekends and breaks I'd come back up and join him and do some of the heavy lifting.

Not that he needed much help by that time mind you. You guys would be floored by the pulley and levers and ramp systems that he set up. After we had gotten the car modified he realized he could still do things, he just needed to work out creative solutions. It seemed like every time I came back there was some new something hanging around that he had used so he could install the ceiling fan or hot water heater."

"Wow." This time it was Sam's turn to interrupt. "That's really impressive and he did a really great job. I had noticed how logically everything was laid out in the cabin when we were there. I had no idea you had done it yourself and I'm incredibly impressed by Lt Bryant's work, everything is in the right place, high and low. You never would be able to tell, it's as if he made no concessions to his limitations."

Jack shook his head in disbelief, "Really Carter? I finally bring you up to the cabin and it's the craftsmanship and logical electrical layout that impressed you?"

She shrugged bashfully, "That wasn't _ALL_ I was impressed with. It **is** a very wonderful place. As soon as we arrived I thought I understood why you love it so much. I certainly understand it even more now."

By this point everyone in the room was smiling, each with their own recent fond memory of O'Neill's much loved cabin. Jack beamed, overjoyed that his personal haven could be the source of smiles for his closest friends.

Teal'c broke their reminiscence, "Do you still share ownership of the cabin with BobBryant?"

Jack shook his head, "Nah, I bought him out a while ago. He eventually went back to school too and got his doctorate in mechanical engineering. He was invited to work with the University of Pennsylvania on developing tools for handicap people around the same time Charlie was little and we started going more often as the family vacation. He needed a little extra cash to help buy a house in Philly so I bought out his half of the cabin."

Daniel returned from the kitchen carrying an orange and nodded his understanding of the exchange. As he began to peel his fruit and without looking up from his task he commented, "Well Jack, that certainly explains a whole other heap about what makes you so…unique." He paused and looked over the rims of his glasses to make amused eye contact with Jack. "So I'm still waiting to hear about Jenks."

Jack sighed, "I was getting to that. I just had to set the stage a little bit first. So you can understand where my mind was. It was that next summer. There was still work to do but the cabin was habitable and Bob and I were getting ready to move up full time that July. However, it was in June when Jenks came to Minnesota for a visit."


	10. Fork In The Road

_A/N: There is an exchange here that draws directly from my story "It's Called The Accretion Disc" in case you're wondering when Sam and O'Neill have the conversation they both refer to._

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><p>Jenks told us how his tour had concluded and he wanted to use some of his down time to check in on his "rescue crew". I remember being overjoyed to see him. I eagerly told him all about school and the cabin and the various life experiences I had in the 2 years I had been living in Minnesota. I beamed at his approval and interest in my life.<p>

Things were different between him and Bryant. In all reality they were never close. Bryant was the Mess Officer so although he shared quarters and certain privileges with the other officers he did not interact with the pilots on a regular and friendly basis. Like with me, Jenks had made an effort to make sure Bryant had known he was noticed and valued which left Bryant with the same sense of duty to go after the downed pilot as I did.

However, because of his injury Bob didn't have any of the subsequent bonding with the Major that I had and the conversation between the two was frequently awkward and a bit strained. Still, he was invited to join the family for the few days he was in town. I began to sense the subtle shift between everyone after dinner on his second night in town. The whole family was sitting in the living room enjoying some homemade ice cream and the evening news reports.

When the news was over Jenks renewed the conversation, "So I'm glad to hear how much you're enjoying school O'Neill, didn't I tell you that you had it in you?" He asked with a pointed smirk and a chuckle.

I smiled back, "Yes sir. You certainly did. I never would have believed it myself. I really don't think I could ever thank you enough."

He picked up the class reports I had shown him and browsed through them, "I am a little surprised to see you're not in the AFROTC. I would have assumed that you would have wanted to work on your commission so you could get right to flight school."

I had known this would inevitably come up and I shifted self-consciously, "Yes sir. At first that was my plan too but when I first started school I still felt pretty behind my peers so I opted not to join up so I could have more time for my studies."

He nodded slowly, looking at me studiously, "Do you still feel behind?"

I shook my head, "No Sir."

He shrugged, "So why not join now? You're heading into your Junior year, correct? You do know they accept students mid way through their degree programs?"

I nodded, "Yes Sir I do. And I've thought about it. But…well, I'm no longer 100% sure that I want to be a fighter pilot anymore." I grimaced, waited for Jenks to let me know how I disappointed him.

He didn't. He pursed his lips thoughtfully and nodded his head, "What DO you think you might want to do?"

I picked at my fingers and shrugged a shoulder, "I'm not sure. Next semester I have some business courses lined up. I think it might be fun to be a contractor or run a shop for sportsmen; you know, hunters and fishermen, I think I could do a really good job advising people and helping them get what they need. I was also thinking of being like a shop teacher in a high school or something, teaching kids how to take care of things like cars and stuff. I think I could really like any of those and be really good at it."

Jenks didn't say anything, just wrinkled his brow and sat back. He didn't bring it up again that night but Bob Sr. did. As I was getting ready for bed he ducked into my room and told me he didn't like or trust Jenks and warned that I should be careful when listening to what he said.

I was shocked. I enumerated all the good Jenks had done for me and then pointed out that even if he hadn't done any of that I would still trust him with my life after what we went through together. I caustically accused Bob Sr of maliciously holding Jenks to blame for his son loosing his legs. It wasn't a pretty moment between the two of us and I went to bed angry and did not sleep soundly.

The next day Jenks, Bryant and I were sitting on the porch when Jenks suggested we go for a hike. Keeping Bryant in mind I suggested we go for a ride instead.

"Aw I was really hoping to stretch my legs a bit before I get on a plane again in a couple of days." He explained as he stood up. "I guess I'll just go on my own. Which way is the best do you suggest?"

Bob sighed, a shadow of a look crossing his face, before he gestured at me to go, "Jack why don't you go with him. It's okay; I've got stuff I wanted to do anyway."

I nodded and stood up, "C'mon, I'll show you the path that goes up the tree line there."

We were in the middle of our hike when Jenks chuckled behind me.

"What?" I asked.

He stopped and smiled at me, "You. I just had kind of a flashback I guess to you leading us through the jungle. A skinny, punk-ass kid with more guts than a whole base full of guys."

I shrugged self-effacingly, "I don't know about guts, probably just less sense than most."

He stood there, regarding me for a moment, "No, it was guts." He declared with confidence. "I still can't believe you're giving up the Air Force." He murmured, shaking his head as he started walking again and passed me by.

The old fear of disappointing him came back in full, "I haven't decided on anything for sure you know." I called after him.

He turned to look at me seemingly relieved at my announcement, "Really?"

I nodded vigorously, "Really. I mean how could I? The Air Force was the best thing that ever happened to me; it turned my whole life around. I just really wanted to devote myself to my studies and you know the Bryants, they aren't big military types. Naturally my mind has wandered now that there are so many opportunities available to me, but that doesn't mean I've given up on anything yet. OTS is still out there and I still love planes. Of course returning to the Air Force is something that is a very major possibility in my life."

"Good." Jenks plopped down on a capsized log. "I'm glad to hear that! I couldn't imagine you doing something as boring or insignificant as running some kind of bait shop."

For a moment I felt the sting of derision and sought to defend myself, "That was just one thought and I mean I wasn't talking like a little bait shop for amateurs, I mean I was thinking of something big and kind of the place that anyone who's serious would have to shop at. And I mean, that was just one idea, I wouldn't want to do anything small or lame." I stammered awkwardly.

Jenks nodded and patted my leg, "Yeah, I'm sure Jack and I didn't mean anything by it. Teaching and building and small businesses are great professions. They're part of the backbone of this country." He gestured out to the vista.

"It's just that I think you're pretty special Jack. I'm pretty certain that you're meant for more than just that. You're not the type of guy to just have a job…you're the kind of guy to dedicate himself 100% to something. And I understand your choices; you want to help people which is great but like I said I think you're meant for more than that."

I stared at him, wrapped up in his praise. I had come a long way in my self-confidence but to have him tell me I was special and meant for something important…well it certainly stole my attention.

Jenks went on to explain more of what he meant, "I mean teaching is great. You know how much I value education but what does a teacher really do? Help 30 kids a year? In the Air Force we get to help thousands of people every time we walk out the door. Our mere existence prevents the communists from trying to invade America the way they are taking over Asia." He looked off in to the distance, a wistful look on his face.

I nodded thoughtfully. He was right. I hadn't forgotten but had lost touch with the sense of pride I had knowing I was part of the larger organization of the Air Force and its missions.

Jenks nudged me as I was deep in thought. "You like the Bryants, eh?"

I nodded my head vehemently. "Good. I knew you would. You know this country is mostly made up of people like them?"

I looked at him quizzically, "What do you mean?"

He tilted his head, "I know you haven't always seen the best that the American people have to show but the majority of people are cozy little family units who love each other and play games and don't worry too much about what happens outside of their little world. And they don't have to, because of people like us."

I was quiet as I thought about what he was saying to me. He continued, "If there were a threat now; if the communists leave the Eurasian continent who would you see rise to arms and fight them? Bob Sr? That hardware store owner you were talking about? Any of your ivory tower professors or fellow students? Do you want them to see the terrible things that war has to offer? Do you want any of those good, simple people to experience what you did in the jungle?"

I shook my head shakily, thinking of the relative innocence of those I had come to know.

Jenks nodded his head solemnly, "That's right. War is terrible. We don't want to expose the ones we love to what's out there. We've already seen it. We already know what men can do to one another. That terrible privilege comes with the grim responsibility of protecting the millions of innocent Americans who don't know. It's the ultimate show of love and devotion that we don the uniform and go out there. We do it so they don't have to. So that the shopkeepers and teachers, and builders of the world can all sleep in their cozy homes with their cozy families and live that beautiful American dream."

I was stunned. I hadn't thought about it like that before. But then I had never known the joy of simple family life before. I realized with sudden clarity that of course I had to keep my eyes set on the Air Force, if I didn't I'd be shirking my responsibility and giving it to someone else. And maybe it would be someone who had so much more to lose than I did. I couldn't do that, it would simply be wrong.

"Wow. Of course you're right. I can't believe I hadn't thought of it that way before." I kept my eyes trained on the dirt while I sorted out my thoughts in my head.

"Of course you haven't. But that's okay. And it's okay that you have been tempted by the soft home life; that's not a bad thing Jack. Valuing how the beautiful life that everyday people lead is how to keep you motivated when the going gets tough out there. And honestly it's not impossible to lead that life yourself as well. Plenty of career guys have families. It's actually encouraged in many ways. It's easier to get into that cockpit when you know the value of what you're protecting." He clapped me on the back.

"You're right. If I'm ever in a hostile situation again knowing that there are innocent, happy families out there will make me want to fight harder for them." I agreed earnestly.

Jenks smiled, "So I take it there are less doubts about rejoining the Air Force now?"

I nodded. "No sir. I mean, Yes Sir…I mean, I see now that it's my responsibility to keep on that path. I promise I won't get distracted again."

He stood up with a wide smile, "That's great to hear because there is an opportunity I wanted to talk to you about…"

It turns out that an Academy buddy of Jenks' was headmaster at an Air Force paramilitary college in Wisconsin. Jenks had arranged it that I could complete my studies there if I wanted. I would be able to have courses that were more focused on the skills that I would need for a life in the military. If I went for 3 and a half more years as opposed to the 2 I had left at SCSC I'd be able to graduate with the equivalence of a Masters as opposed to a Bachelors and come out with a commission as a First Lieutenant as opposed to a Second Lieutenant. I'd even get to start flying gliders while in school, getting a jump on my future flight training.

On that hike I agreed to it all and when we returned to the house I excitedly shared my new plan with everyone. I thought they'd be excited that this opportunity had been offered to me but Bob Sr didn't say anything. He just left the dinner table and went outside.

Momma Bryant told me she was proud of me, that the military was a very admirable profession, but her smile didn't reach her eyes and her voice was stiff. Bob didn't say much.

That night as I looked over the brochure Jenks had given me Bob asked if it was what I really wanted to do. I tried to explain to him what Jenks and I had discussed on the hike. How I felt compelled to dedicate my life to the military because of people like his family; not to spite them. He told me he understood, that he knew the military life suited me better than he could understand and that as long as it was really what I wanted to do then he thought it was good move and he'd do his best to explain it to his dad.

That night I dreamed about a simple life where I spent my days building houses and came home to a wife, son and daughter whom I played with into the evening. It was a tempting dream but I knew that the vision wasn't for me to have, it was for me to protect and I did not hesitate the next morning as I drove with Jenks to complete the enrollment paperwork.

I spent the rest of the summer with the Bryants, finishing up loose ends around their house and putting the finishing touches on the cabin with Bob. I started at my new school that Fall. It required that I live on campus but we had one free weekend a month and two short breaks a semester.

I split my time off between the Bryants and our cabin. They were always kind to me but there remained a new strain between myself and Bob Sr. and as time passed Bob and I spent more and more time at the cabin until he was living there full time and we only went to the Bryant homestead on holidays or upon special invitation.

Jenks had helped me lay out my course of study, I had very little say in the matter but I trusted him fully as he said he knew what a successful officer needed to know. I loved it there. It represented all the good parts of being in the Air Force with nothing that I found to be a detractor. I had fully recommitted myself to a military life and I found myself succeeding in all of my classes. Even the multitude of foreign language classes Jenks had me take."

At that point Daniel choked on his orange until a firm slap on the back from Teal'c allowed him enough air to speak, "The WHAT classes?!"

Jack elbowed Sam with a grin, "I knew he'd freak out at that."

"No, Jack, this isn't funny, you stop right there. What are you saying to me?" Daniel stared at his friend with a disbelieving look on his face.

Patiently and slowly as if he were talking to a child Jack enunciated, "I have the equivalency of a minor in Modern World Languages."

Daniel ran his hands through his hair and squeezed his eyes shut, "And you never said anything Because?"

Jack looked around the room with a baffled look on his face, "Because…why?"

Daniel collapsed back into the chair, exasperated "Why because?! Because, because, because…how about because language is a major part of what we do! Because as a team we've had to encounter dozens of languages and you've always put me on the spot! Because I'm your friend and language is my passion and you've never shown any inclination of comprehension or interest!"

Jack shrugged, "What are you talking about Daniel? Of course I did. What did you think when I snapped at you when we were in 1969 and you told the guard that we weren't Russian spies In Russian!"

Daniel opened his mouth then closed it again. He took a breath and had the good graces to look abashed, "Okay, fine but forgive me that was obviously not one of my more thoughtful moments…but still Jack! There were so many other times and you just…" He trailed off, for once at a loss for words.

Jack rolled his eyes and sighed, "Look, relax Daniel. As I told Carter years ago…"

"Wait!" Daniel interrupted, "You knew?!" He looked accusingly at the woman he thought of as a sister.

Sam smiled and shook her head to contain the urge to laugh. "I didn't know much. On a mission once he and I talked a little about what degrees he had. I really didn't ever know more than that. I didn't even know what schools he went to."

Daniel pouted, "You still could have mentioned it!"

Sam shrugged, completely unapologetic, "It wasn't my place to talk about it. I always figured it would come up someday. Just didn't realize it'd be this long."

Daniel glowered at her, "How long has it been Sam?"

She smirked, "Ohhh I don't know Daniel. I was still a captain and would be for a while yet."

"GAH!" Daniel flopped back in his chair and ground the heels of his palms into his temples. He was definitely close to exploding with frustration at his best friends.

Jack held up a hand to placate him, "ANYWAY, as I told Sam, there is no reason for you to feel all worked up. I studied specific languages, not linguistics. I still have no idea what you're talking about when you rant about derivatives and I could not likely ever understand a language I've never heard before...that's all you Space Monkey. All I did was take a series of accelerated courses in specific languages that are spoken in places a busy officer might find himself." O'Neill finished his explanation with a bit of a grimace.

Daniel was thoughtful again. "Wait, what? You wanted to be a pilot. Chances are you would always be stationed on American or allied bases like in Vietnam and have plenty of English speakers around you. If you just wanted to be a pilot why would you take time away from more applicable subjects to spend so much time with languages?"

Jack was quiet, but looked at Daniel like he knew the answer already. Daniel looked at Sam for help but she kept her eyes on the coffee table in front of her.

It was Teal'c who helped Daniel understand. "Did you not say that MajorJenks planned your curriculum for you O'Neill?"

Jack nodded his head. "I did."

Teal'c tilted his head in comprehension, "Then DanielJackson, it seems apparent that MajorJenks identified that O'Neill would not just be a pilot and indeed was a candidate for SpecialOperations and sought to ensure he received all the qualifications and was prepared with useful knowledge."

Jack pointed to Teal'c with his beer, "Bing-o buddy."

Daniel shook his head, "Wait…what?"

Jack leaned back, "From the very beginning, when he found out I was a street rat with no family and complete devotion to the Air Force Jenks had me pegged as black-ops potential."


	11. Epilogue

_A/N This is the end of the story. At the end there is a hint of J/S if you squint and turn your head to just the right angle but blink and you'll miss it. I mention this because I do have the audacity to have her say the "J-word" (Jack) and I know that there are a handful of readers who do not want to read ship. And that is not what this is. The producers acknowledge that in their minds the two got together after Threads. As that's when the story is occurring I want the characters to act appropriately. For example, there's nothing overt but you'll notice Sam does not say the word "Sir" once this whole time._

_This has been first and foremost a story about Jack's past and secondly a story about their friendship as a team. _

_Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!_

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><p>Daniel stared in disbelief. Pieces of the story began to fall together to form a picture very different than the altruistic older officer offering guidance to a lost soul. Daniel didn't even know the man but he found himself refusing to believe the truth; the betrayal of trust which had been laid plain to see.<p>

Jack smiled at his friend's empathy as he watched him struggle with what happened. He found himself with a new found appreciation that after all these years of war Daniel still somehow managed to have a gentle and trusting soul.

With heartbreak in his eyes Daniel looked at Jack, "Why?"

Jack shrugged as if he wasn't as bothered by it as they all knew he was, "Because that's what we do. We fill ourselves up with the notion that the more secret the mission the more important the mission and the more important the mission the more important the men on the mission are. We convince ourselves we are the best of the best and keep an eye out for anyone who fits the right profile and belongs with us.

It's no different than what Carter does when she gives her talks and comes back with lists of potential candidates for the Stargate program or when I go to the academy to evaluate pilot candidates and I'm really looking for future x-302 pilots. You've done it yourself when you go to conferences and come back all excited about some guy whose work would fit perfectly and how we should reach out and hire him."

Daniel shook his head, "But we don't deceive people! We don't play with their loyalties and emotions. We don't manipulate them!"

Jack locked eyes, "We don't? What about Captain Hailey? You don't think that she's here now because of some manipulation on our part? Do you begrudge Carter for getting involved?"

"No!" Daniel argued, "Because Sam brought her to the SGC and through the gate. She not only told her what she was getting into but she showed her. She gave her a choice."

Jack shrugged, "I had a choice too. Jenks never forced me into anything. Everything I did was my own decision."

Daniel slumped, too exhausted to argue, "But he mislead you. Manipulated you."

Jack nodded, "That is true."

They sat in quiet contemplation for a few minutes before Sam asked, "So was Jenks black ops himself then?"

Jack nodded, "Yeah. Turns out several of the operations from our base were some of the less savory elements of the war. Earlier in the 60's that's where a lot of the Agent Orange was dispatched from and by the time I was there Jenks was leading many of the missions for the secret bombings of Cambodia and Laos. They pulled him in from the field to assist with that effort and some of the more nefarious drops.

After we came to his rescue and he saw how I operated in the jungle he made it his personal mission to ensure I ended up where he thought I should be.

As Daniel as rightly deduced, that's what all of it was…every bit of his friendship with me was a play to get me to make the decisions he wanted me to make. Like a college scout hunting high school talent with cars and gifts Jenks gave me the attention and support that I unknowingly craved. He was a smart man. I look back now and I realize that he is your average slick charmer and I got played.

He didn't care about me achieving my dream of becoming a pilot; he just had an idea and seized upon it. I gave him the tools to manipulate me each time I confided in him. Bob Sr had sensed it when Jenks came for that visit to the Bryant's…everything was a staged manipulation. I didn't listen to what he was trying to warn me about because I didn't want to see it. He had passed on by the time I realized what had happened and never had the opportunity to tell him he was right and thank him for trying to look out for my best interests.

Before I had even graduated Jenks had made sure the right men knew my name and saw my dossier. Sure I've had my fair share of flying but it wasn't too long after graduation that I was no longer identified as a pilot, instead identified as "special skills" and began doing way too many ground based missions which have technically never happened."

Jack paused, taking a long drink from his beer. No one spoke.

"So yes Danny, as you now understand I'm hesitant and reluctant to refer to Jenks as a positive force in my life. Yes, if it wasn't for him I may have never gotten a degree, had much belief in myself or met you fine folks. And for that I need to forever be thankful.

But also if it wasn't for him there is a very good chance that I could be a happy shopkeeper living with my wife and son in Northern Minnesota.

Maybe I would have stayed in the AF as an enlisted man, some day earning stripes. Maybe I would have left and been a bum on the streets. I don't know. Perhaps one day we'll run into alternate realities where that all played out. I don't have much use for maybes, they lead to regrets and I could too easily be consumed by all the maybes and what-ifs in life.

Things aren't always black and white Daniel and when you ask about my hesitation surrounding Jenks it's just because I'm very, very, conflicted."

The room was still for a while and each of the original members of SG-1 reflected on their thoughts. Daniel was again the first to break the silence. He leaned his elbows on his knees and pressed his palms together. In an even and sincere voice he spoke, "I'm very sorry for you Jack."

Jack sat uncharacteristically still, his only movement coming from the methodical picking away of his beer label. After a protracted pause he pursed his lips together and squinted at the bottle in his hand before taking a deep breath and smirking.

"Don't be."

Daniel cocked his head to the side, "But Jack…"

Jack cut him off with a wave and a shake of his head. "Nah, Daniel...I've had a lot of crappy moments in my life. That's something you've all known for nearly as long as we've known each other. With slight exception, my life story is one complicated or unhappy chapter after another but that's not important. That's all behind and leading up to this. This is my epilogue. My clichéd happily ever after. I'm entering my twilight years a two star general stationed at the pentagon with a direct line to the president. I've gone from having nowhere to go to owning two homes. I've gone from being completely alone without family to having you all the best friends and family a man could have. Now I'm here, I'm not sorry about anything and neither should you be."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow, "That's quite saccharine of you O'Neill."

Jack chuckled, "Sappy Teal'c, the saying is that I was being sappy."

"Indeed." The Jaffa agreed causing the tension to break and the whole room to laugh.

"Hey! I believe I have a standing order about giggling at my expense." Jack mocked.

"I'm sorry but I think that order has expired." Sam joked.

Jack shook his head, "Yeah, yeah, well, whatever. Regardless, that's it! No more story time! And man did that kill the whistle while you work mood. Tell you what, break times over but I'll clear this up if you guys grab those boxes Carter packed in the attic and we'll go grab some milkshakes to celebrate the end of this packing insanity."

Everyone nodded in agreement and got up while Jack cleared the coffee table of the discarded bottles. He was removing the trash bag from the can when he heard someone approaching from behind.

"Jack?"

He turned to see Sam still standing in the doorway. "Hey. Spent enough time in the attic already?"

She shook her head but ignored his question. "Is it okay…I mean, do you mind if I…" She stammered in a way which she hadn't in a long time.

Jack was confused until he saw the letter from her father still in her hand. "Do you want to keep the letter?" he guessed.

She breathed deep and nodded quickly, "I do. I'm sorry, I know it must be important to you and it's pushing it to ask but, I just…"

He smiled and took the letter from her fingers and unfolded it, reading over the familiar words, _"'Do you KNOW that she is a genius? … Sam could be changing the world with her mind. I want what is best for my child_…'"

Jack looked away from the paper to Sam who was biting her lip. "Let me guess, you just don't have anything from him where he speaks about you like this?"

Not trusting herself to speak Sam just nodded her head.

Jack smiled, "Of course you can have it. You should have it. It's about you after all." He held out the paper to her.

"Thank you." She whispered, lightly taking the letter from Jack's hand and carefully folding it back into its envelope. "And thank you again for sharing your story. It means a lot that you trust us like that." Try as she might to steer the conversation back to him she couldn't keep the waver out of her voice.

Jack paused, unsure how to help, knowing that Sam was still filled with fighting away her own grief. After all it was barely 3 weeks since Jacob's funeral.

"C'mere," he said grabbing her arm, picking his keys from the counter and guiding her outside. "Let's see how long it takes for the guys to notice if we get a head start on those milkshakes."

The End.

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><p><em>AN – Thank you for joining me on this journey through Jack's past! I've used this to explain a lot of the character's quirks to myself and hopefully it's acceptable to you as fellow fans of the show and characters!<em>

_PS – I am considering a sequel as the original scene that lead to this whole thing actually never made it into the story! It would be about the boy, Howie, from Jack's foster home in Chapter 3 tracking him down and them meeting again. I was going to tack that on to the end of here but I figured it didn't fit with this story and would be awkward. If that is something you think would be interesting I think I will call it "The Next Chapter" or "New Beginnings" and will hopefully put it up in the next couple of weeks so keep your eyes open!_


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